A Great Concert -
Last night was Tony's big spring concert. It turned out well, and perhaps later I'll have some photos to show.
It was a crazy day yesterday as plans were made, changed, changed again, and discarded. Both Tony and I sang in our Praise Team yesterday. We were few in number due to classes and vacations, so every voice was vital. But, the angels sang with us and it turned out OK.
Miss Mary, Tony's adopted grandmother called during the service and told me she felt she wouldn't be able to attend the concert. She had family come in suddenly (she had about 26 hours notice that they were coming). I asked her if Angelo came later, would she be able to make it. She wasn't sure but would call back.
Tony and I left right at noon to head to the choir building, assuming that Miss Mary would come. The plan would be for Tony to ride the bus over to the concert site; thus freeing me up to drop off DeeDee at the baby sitter's while Angelo picked up Miss Mary and brought her over.
Knowledge is Understanding
Halfway to the choir building, Miss Mary called again. I understood her to say that she could not make the concert, even if Angelo waited until five.
I was hurt and very disappointed. Time and time again I've made arrangements for her to attend a national choir concert, an international choir concert; this was the biggest concert of all. And, every time, something happened and she couldn't come. I couldn't help but question this pattern of plan and miss. Yes, I cried. Yes, I hurt. Yes, I wondered. I wondered why she couldn't tell her family that this activity had been planned for months and she needed to attend it. After all she is the only "family" to us that lives close by.
After I wiped my tears, I thought I'd talk to her one more time. So I called about 3:30 and her niece answered the phone. Very quickly I understood why Miss Mary felt she couldn't come.
I'll just say it wasn't the most courteous conversation I had; I got the distinct feeling that Miss Mary could easily have felt captive in her own home.
(update 8:00 PM) Miss Mary called me a while ago. She wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday. I was able to honestly to tell her no apology was needed, that I truly understood what was going on.
I did have to think creatively to let her know HOW I understood; the perceived impoliteness from her niece, but I finally just told Miss Mary how everything came across to me; to my desperate, upset, hurt mind. I also explained how the phone conversation allowed me to calm my feathers and see inside her house just a bit. Finally, I told Miss Mary that there were no hard feelings; that we loved her, and that there was no need to apologize and make amends. Life happens; and, in her case, Miss Mary had to make the decision that would keep peace in the family. I understood it was a very hard decision for her to make.
To say that Miss Mary was grateful and relieved is an understatement. She was in tears with relief that I held no hard feelings toward her because of her agonizing discussion.
She did seem confuse at how I portrayed her niece on the phone. Miss Mary admitted she did not hear the conversation; and I admitted that my perception was clouded by my hurt and discouraged attitude. However, I told her that if God allowed my to perceive the conversation in this matter to avoid lingering hurt feelings than let's not deal with it. Miss Mary told me that her niece is usually a very nice person. I will take her word for it.
Lessons Learned
From Tony's birthday party fiasco a year ago and this episode yesterday (until I made that afternoon phone call) I began to realize that no one thinks my children are as important as I think they are. It was a painful and somewhat bitter lesson to learn. I just have to realize that when we live away from family like we do; all the planning and inviting of friends in the world is not going to guarantee a large support circle for my children. The biggest support my children can receive will come from Angelo and I as parents.
Back to A Great Concert
Tony did ride the bus from the choir building to the concert hall, and he rode with his international choir friend A. whom I've mentioned before. I saw Tony only once, briefly as the boys were following their prefect from the stage area (I assume) back to their waiting room. I had a chance to wander around a bit. I noted where the quilt and throw pillow items I made where and what bids were on them. Then the rest of the time before the choir started I was busy with my job as a door ticket-taker and usher. The place was full, and Angelo and I had a good seat about 1/3 of the way back and on the aisle.
After the alumni opened the program with a patriotic piece, the youngest members of the organization; the prep choir were led onstage. The entertained us with their four numbers; adding their young unpredictability to our enjoyment of the whole program.
The international choir then entered the stage and beautifully showcased the numbers they will use to compete in the Choir Olympic Games coming up this summer in Gratz, Austria.
Finally the local choir; Tony's choir came onstage and shared their music with us. They sang in English, German and Japanese. The first half ended when the national choir joined the local boys in singing Sunrise Over America a beautiful patriotic song.
The rest of the program comprised of the alumni, national and international choirs each taking their turn on stage. The international choir ended the program with their signature welcome song, Niska Banja. The people were standing to their feet and clapping almost before the last notes had been heard. So the international choir did an encore; the official Vienna Boys' choir arrangement of The Blue Danube; all in German.
There was some mingling around afterward before Angelo found Tony. We greeted A. and finally worked our way to the door; greeting fellow choir parents along the way. It was a great evening; one for the memory books.
Tony has about two more weeks with of meetings with the choir before a two month break. After May 19th, the next scheduled event will be in August for music camp.
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