Choices.
Acceptance.
A journey.
How on earth do I start this? Hmm..
I’m left handed.
Really? That’s the way to start this?
My church congregation is very ethnically and nationally diverse.
Yeesss… And…
I’m vegetarian?
Vick-y!
I know, I know, I’m dancing around a topic I have been struggling with all school year. But…
But what?
Believe it or not, for all my hemming and hawing, these words: choices, acceptance, a journey, left-handedness and vegetarian all come together. But how to start? How to make all the pieces fit?
Just keep trying… eventually they will fit and you will have a beautiful picture.
Well… big sigh… I’ll just say it.. LGTB. There, it’s out and I can address it.
What an uncomfortable topic for me; for many of us, I’m sure. But I need to put into words how I have dealt with it.
One reason my husband and I chose to homeschool was to protect my children from “that” environment, from the “those attitudes” and to make sure our kids know what is right and wrong in our eyes. Our decision came especially after a school I was considering – a highly touted charter school with a waiting list was forced to let an LGBT group in and post signs all over advocating their life style.
I certainly didn’t want my kids to be exposed to THAT!
Oh, boy, this is going to get complicated very quickly.
Let me start over.
I have classmates from my Adventist high school and Adventist college that were great friends of mine. We laughed together, worked together, worshiped together, took classes and tests together, graduated together, and I still count them as friends today.
They’re gay.
I didn’t know it when we were in school and perhaps they didn’t know themselves. When I found out, I had mixed feelings; I wasn’t sure what to think. I spent some time on my knees in prayer about it and then quickly moved on to other issues in my life since I didn’t have to worry about dealing with it on a personal level.
Then came the purposed amendment to the state constitution that stated legal marriage should be between one male and one female. How was I going to vote? Then I thought of something else… what if the amendment was about Sunday being the legal day of worship in my state. How then would I vote? It made me pause and consider… everything…. All I got? More questions… more confusion… and more time on my knees.
See, it’s getting complicated.
I’m left handed… oh, wait, I said that already. My senior year in high school, we were required to complete so many hours of community service in order to graduate. So, I signed up to spend a couple hours putting together sack lunches to hand out to the homeless in Seattle. Before we went out, the church sponsoring the food fed the small group of us. As we were busily chatting and eating, suddenly an older, bespectacled man was at my side with a bony finger in my face. “GET OUT!” he growled. “You are left-handed and of the devil,” Get out!!!
Awkward moments ensued while I tried to size him and figure out if he was joking. At the same time, my mind flashed back to my (left-handed) mom’s stories of the 1940’s society trying to force her into being right-handed.
Fortunately, the pastor was quickly ushering that man out the door and expressing deep apologies to me. I laughed it off, but the incident has stayed with me to this day.
Beyond that one experience, I was not rejected, sneered at, despised or discriminated against simply because I am a southpaw. I am fully accepted into society. For lefties living in the 1930's and 40's, "discriminatory practices and attitudes persisted... suggesting that left-handedness was merely due to perversity and the result of emotional negativism. It was only in the Post-War years, under the influence of John Dewy that a certain amount of tolerance ...." to accept left-handers for who they are; people who are normal, every day, talented people who just happen to be lefties. (1)
I used to work for a boys’ choir. One evening a new choir mom told me the reason she transferred her boys from another boys’ choir to ours was that the other boys choir moved their rehearsal space to a church that accepts LGBT into full membership. The very thought that her boys were rehearsing in a space that accepts LGBT was abhorrent to her, so she moved her boys to a different choir.
I wasn’t sure what to think of that; I certainly wasn’t comfortable with her decision, I thought it too extreme, but I wasn’t comfortable with a church who believes in the biblical concept of marriage to accept LGBT into full membership. It left me grappling with a lot of questions and trying to figure out what I believed. And more time on my knees.
At least it didn’t affect me directly.
Or so I thought.
Our daughter is in a community symphony organization with seven different ensembles. As she prepared to audition out of level 1 into (we assumed) level 2, I began looking ahead at the next orchestras; what was required and who the conductors were.
The conductor of the third level lives an alternative lifestyle. O-Kay. What are my choices? Well, I have time to consider this and to pray about it…
I thought.
Then we found out Charity auditioned right into the third level – Mr. M’s. orchestra. All my questions, ponderings, and uncertainty came staring at me full in the face. How on earth am I going to deal with this?
Time on my knees in prayer. Lots of prayer.
I mentioned earlier that I attend a congregation that is vastly diverse with many of our congregants hailing from various African countries and tribes. In fact, almost all of Minneapolis’ SDA churches are very ethnically diverse. There are some who have admitted to having a very difficult time attending such a congregation. It bothers me greatly to see them separate themselves from these wonderful people of God simply because of their color and way of worship.
So, I’m left handed. I still have two arms, two legs, two ears, a head, nose, and mouth. I’m not purple or green-headed or have a tail. I’m a human being in need of God’s grace and love.
Mr. M is gay. He still has two arms, two legs, two ears, a head, nose, and mouth. He’s not purple or green-headed or have a tail. He’s a human being in need of God’s grace and love.
The African members of our church still have still have two arms, two legs, two ears, a head, nose, and mouth. They are not purple or green-headed or have a tail. They are human beings in need of God’s grace and love.
Do you remember YOYO? I’ve mentioned him in previous blogs. We first met him at Lake Itasca as he began a kayak trip on the Mississippi River from the source to the mouth. Yoyo came back to town the beginning of January and has frequented our house quite often.
He isn’t Adventist.
He smokes
He occasionally consumes alcohol.
I let my son hang out with him.
Why?
He still has two arms, two legs, two ears, a head, nose, and mouth. He’s not purple or green-headed or have a tail. He’s a human being in need of God’s grace and love.
That’s it.
I choose to accept Mr. M, I must love him as Christ loves me. I must work together with him in achieving the greatest possible outcome; that is, letting his orchestra students, including my daughter, learn as much as they can from his skills and talents.
I choose to accept my LGBT classmates. They are talented and productive in society. I must love them as Christ loves me.
I choose to accept YOYO. He is searching for a God to love and I must love him as Christ loved me.
And I count them all as friends.
The whole point I need to get across is that we are all sinners, and we all stand in the need of God's grace and mercy. To those who separate themselves from congregations of diversity; they need to realize they need to stand as brothers and sisters in Christ to my African friends from Kenya. For me, I need to know I can stand as a sister-in-Christ to Mr. M and to my high school and college classmates. For that man who called me the devil; he needs to know that he should be able to stand as a brother-in-Christ to me, a lefthander.
Uh, Vicky?
Yes?
What does this have to do with being a vegetarian?
Oh, yeah, that. Just as I choose to eat a diet I believe to be closer to what God intended for us to eat, so I choose to be friends with those who can so be easily cast aside by society.
Now THAT is a beautiful picture.
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